Monday, September 30, 2019
Crooks monologue- Of mice and men Essay
IÃ¢â¬â¢m so tired, both physically and mentally, but I bet you, there aint no one in the whole world who could, I mean who would help me. All this because IÃ¢â¬â¢m black. Is that even fair? Is that even my fault? IÃ¢â¬â¢m just a man too, IÃ¢â¬â¢m just a man like any other man round here. We were all brought into this world in the same way, We all were once young free souls with a childhood, we all know what the difference between the good and the evil is. , So why? Why. That is the question that I have asked myself from the day when they took my family, from the day my family were.. Well, I already know the answer to that, however unfair it may seem. TheyÃ¢â¬â¢ve done this to us because they see us differently, they are all lazy people who can only be bothered to see whatÃ¢â¬â¢s on the surface and not even attempt to dig deeper, and they are judgemental people whom the god has created. God, my family brought me up to trust, and to have faith and to look up to god. I remember, that night, When my mum was putting me to bed she said- You need to have someone to look up to , someone who you have faith in, someone who you think about, someone who you ask for help when youÃ¢â¬â¢re stuck and I want you to remember that that man is god. But now, I even find myself questioning myself about the existence of this Supreme Being who is meant to help, who is meant to make everything fair and good. If anything or anyone so supreme was there to watch upon us, then why am I having to suffer? I have done no sin, I could not choose my skin colour, And I defiantly cant change that, however much I want to do so. IÃ¢â¬â¢m not going to lie, In the past I hated myself too, for being black- Because of my colour, IÃ¢â¬â¢ve been isolated from society, IÃ¢â¬â¢ve been hurt, IÃ¢â¬â¢ve even been denied the chance to even hope for my American dream. All this because IÃ¢â¬â¢m black. But now IÃ¢â¬â¢ve realised that IÃ¢â¬â¢m just lucky to at least be living, to at least have a job, to at least have a bed to sleep on at night. You see, I work up at the ranch full of white guys, the boss made sure that my job was somewhat secured after the day when one of the horses kicked me in the back and crippled me. Although my back hurts like a bitch every second in every minute in every hour in every day IÃ¢â¬â¢m grateful for it. Without it, who knows where I would be now? Probably dead or left for the dead out in the streets. And let me tell you , the thought of that is way better than living in the ranch and being ignored by those white ranch workers. Well, IÃ¢â¬â¢m not always ignored, I mean last Christmas I actually was invited in to celebrate with them, they even gave me some whiskey,It was by far an amazing night for me, but then again anythingÃ¢â¬â¢s better than spending Christmas alone in the dark with the horses. And one of the new guys even came into my room and actually gave me company for the first time in many many years. That guyÃ¢â¬â¢s name is Lennie small, ThereÃ¢â¬â¢s no dening that heÃ¢â¬â¢s a heck of a strong worker, a giant guy, but thereÃ¢â¬â¢s also no dening that heÃ¢â¬â¢s one stupid bastard. IÃ¢â¬â¢m not even saying this for the meaness, itÃ¢â¬â¢s the truth, I mean when a white guy steps into a black guys room to keep him company thereÃ¢â¬â¢s only two possible reasons as to why he would do so- Either heÃ¢â¬â¢s opened his eyes and seen beneath just the surface or because heÃ¢â¬â¢s a stupid bastard. In lennieÃ¢â¬â¢s case it was the second reason. At that time, I thought that it would be a laugh to take advantage of him, I couldnÃ¢â¬â¢t wait to get the feeling of being ble to torment someone, anyone. So I did. Sure as hell I did, I told him that George ainÃ¢â¬â¢t coming back for him, I filled his head with complexe ideas about George leaving him to fend for himself, It was pure pleasure, just watching him squirm, panick, be helpless. I let him have a little taste of what it was like to be me, to be alone. But stopped as soon as lennie started to talk back, I was damn scared, but who wouldnÃ¢â¬â¢t be scared of a huge, dumb guy who isnÃ¢â¬â¢t even aware of his own strength? Soon another white guy also came in,his name is candy, an old guy with one hand completely missing. This one hesitated more coming in my room than Lennie did, making me aware that his eyes were also one of them many eyes who could only be bothered to see what is on the surface. He told me that he would soon bust outa this place to get his own place with George and Lennie, so I told him straight up, that IÃ¢â¬â¢d seen to many guys with dreams similar to them and that I know that it would always only just stay a far away dream, nothing more. This was until they told me that they had the money for it. I was going to tell them about my dream and even ask them to let me stay with them, but that evil bitch came to my door at that exact moment, She heard a bit of talking from me about my dream. That bitch was curleyÃ¢â¬â¢s wife, CurleyÃ¢â¬â¢s the bosses son so its not like I could have talked back to her while she told me that I could never ever get my dream. She crushed me slowly with her words, but I was thankful for the wakeup call. If she hadnÃ¢â¬â¢t said thatI would have just built up false expectation for myself, that would soon be crushed. ThatÃ¢â¬â¢s just my life, Ablack guy with no chance in the white society. 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